I have 5 months left of being 19. 5 months left of being a teenager. It’s scary, turning 20. All the dreams I have of me being this responsible adult and everything are suddenly shoved down onto me whether I like it or not.

As in, I dream myself to be this perfect person, and instead I’m faced with the cruel reality that I’m no where near who I want to be.

No matter. I will succeed nonetheless. This sort of maturity only comes with time, I guess. I just don’t want to end up 25 and unhappy with life (even worse). I mean, 20′s still young. It’s just that when you hear 20, you think, man, that’s so old. Then suddenly you are 20 and then what do you do?

At any rate, I’ve dropped in productivity, especially regarding uni homework. I’ve contemplated dropping out. I’m spending more and more time doing AM when I’m not supposed to. I’m not juggling my priorities well.

But it’s not all negative. I’ve started planning AM better, dreaming less, doing more. It’s just with uni, you sort of don’t have the time you wish you had to do what you want? It’s a pretty crappy excuse, but yeah.

Anyway, I’m just rambling now. I’ve got to do less of that when I’m 20. Can only be decisive. Bleh.